Letting go

There are some strong differences in my children, some are obvious to everyone, some are not. One of the biggest differences I have noticed recently is me and the way I treat them. I have come to realize that I look at Maddie as being way more fragile than Dylan. Maybe because Dylan has proven to me over and over again that he is a strong, independent child. In fact, over the past few months he has truly blossomed into an amazing young man.

For instance: He had a "physical altercation" at school with another boy. I could have called the school and got involved, but I let Dylan handle the situation himself and guess what? He and that boy are friends now. Maddie got slapped in the face on the bus yesterday and I nearly fainted. Joel had to talk me down off a ledge. In a 5-minute span my brain had me suing this kids parents and Maddie never riding the bus ever again and me personally slapping this other kid. Apparently, the bus driver and the principal were able to handle the situation without my personal assistance, but it was painful for me.

Another instance: Dylan had his first sleepover at someone's house in 1st grade. Maddie is in 1st grade. She got invited to her first sleepover. I never hesitated with Dylan. With Maddie all sorts of scenarios are running through my brain. In the end, I can't let her spend the night at someone else's house. I just can't.

When Dylan was in 1st grade he was walking into the school by himself and walking up from the bus by himself. I can't let Maddie do that. I can't even imagine what would happen. I let her walk into the school once by herself and she wandered around the front of the school for 5 minutes looking at things and people and getting distracted. Oy.

Most days I don't let her get dressed by herself. She'd come downstairs with her shirt on backwards and shorts on in the middle of winter. I've seen kids in her class dressed like this, so apparently some parents think this is acceptable to let their kids learn from their mistakes. I personally, prefer my daughter to go to school looking like a presentable human being that isn't going to die of frostbite at recess.

Yes, I baby her. I don't know if it's because she is my baby, or if because she's just far less independent and self-sufficient than Dylan was. Joel thinks if I let go a little, she'll become her own person rather than an extension of me. It's hard to let go. I don't even think she wants me to let go, but I guess eventually she's going to have to. Where's the Xanax.