I'm crazy and I know it, clap your hands

I promised I'd blog more often, so I will. Look at me! Two days in a row. Amazing.

Dylan's game was cancelled last night and I was only a little (a lot) excited. It was a 7:30 game. I hate those. They don't get over until after 9:30 and by then it is FREEEEEEEZING out. Maddie's tired. I'm tired. Dylan's tired. By the time we get home and settled down, it's after 10:30 before anyone gets to bed. That is senior suck-fest since we have to get up before 7:00 a.m. As you can tell, sleep is the number one priority here in our house. After food of course. Anyway, his game got rescheduled for May 23rd. Which happens to be the day Joel and I are going to the Mariner game. Great.

I never mentioned Dylan's grades. He got All As and a B+. Pretty awesome. Last time he had had 4 As and 2 Bs, so we were really happy with his progress.

Every year I promise the kids I will accompany ONE of their field trips. I am not, nor do I ever claim to be, an Alpha mom. I can't be the mom that goes on every field trip and goes to PTA meetings and helps out in the classrooms. By can't I mean, I don't want to. By don't want to, I mean I don't have the patience for kids other than my own. Don't laugh, sometimes I am patient with my own kids, like when they're sleeping or quietly reading a book. We have those moments. Anyway, we're nearing the end of the year and neither of the kids have had hardly any field trips. Now they both have one coming up. I signed up for Maddie's. It's a quick morning trip to the Auditorium to watch a play. Dylan's is an all day trip to the Seattle International District. Are you kidding me? I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I know, major mommy fail, but I told him that i promise to do something else with him. I don't know what yet, but it won't be that. I can't find the heart to be in charge of a group of 11/12yo kids for an entire day in downtown Seattle. I may try to sell one to a hobo for a penny. By sell I mean pay the hobo to take them away from me before I kill them.

We've had many issues with Maddie's name. She's Madelyn. We call her Maddie. She doesn't like to be called Madelyn because "that's what you call me when I'm in trouble." Fair enough. She once tried to change the spelling of Madelyn to Madylan. In both years of preschool her teachers called her Madelyn, which was confusing for her because she was Maddie 95% of the time for her first 3 years of life. In kindergarten she was Maddie because there was a Madelynn in her class. That was confusing too. This year, she chose to be Madelyn again. She is called Madelyn by everyone at school. She announced this morning that for 2nd grade she wants to be called "Madison." She doesn't understand that this isn't possible. But seriously, how could she not think this is possible? We've bounced from Maddie to Madelyn every year, what's a few more letters? I seriously regret ever giving this child a name that can be shortened. Or shortening it in the first place. She should have just been Madelyn and that's that.

Weekly Recap

I can't seem to find time to blog. I'll try harder, I promise.

Anyway, I have a valid excuse for last week. Joel went out of town Thursday through Sunday and I didn't want to mention it online because I am a paranoid freak about stuff like that. Dylan had two games over the weekend and lost them both. He did good defensively.

On Saturday we had Rachel, Dennis and Marin over for dinner and to spend the night. That was a blast. We played games and laughed.

On Saturday Maddie got a piece of mechanical pencil lead in her eye. Don't ask. I got it out without a trip to the ER. Why is Joel always gone for this stuff. He's always calm as a cucumber while I'm panicking.

Joel got home super late Sunday and went to work Monday. He was pretty tired all day and he had a little accident at work. A 5-pound nail gun fell 10 feet onto his face. he had to have stitches. Good times. He wouldn't let me take a picture.

Maddie has a tooth that is literally hanging there but she won't let anyone pull it out. She's lost 3 teeth and the first two were trauma-free. Dylan pulled them out for her. The last one and this one she freaks out over the thought of taking them out. They are her front top two teeth and I think she's afraid she'll look stupid. Nothing I say changes her mind. Next I'm going to tell her that the tooth fairy is going to come check on her tooth in the middle of the night and yank it out for her. Never mind, then she'll never go to sleep.

Okay, that's all for this week. See ya next week. No, seriously, I'll try harder. I promise.

Buttons

Yea, yea, yea, get off my back, I know I haven't blogged in 10 days.

Things have just been really busy. Seriously.

Dylan's baseball season is going good. He got a couple of hits and an RBI at the last game. They're 2-2, I think.

Maddie's "Alice in Wonderland" ballet recital is a little over a month away. I am pretty sure I am more excited than she is.

I really don't have anything witty or interesting to say, sorry. When things get hectic around here my brain becomes extremely disorganized and I can't really function and create a coherent sentence, let alone an interesting blog post.

There was a funny moment last night I was going to blog about, but when I got here and typed it out, it didn't come off as nearly as funny as I thought. It was one of those "had to been there" moments.

I'll tell you about it anyway. Joel is doing a golf tournament soon and so he decided to go through all his shorts to see which ones fit and which ones did not. He was doing a little "fashion show" of sorts. Well he found a pair that he clearly hasn't worn in at least 11-12 years, but he decided to try them on anyway....and found them to be a little...tight. The kids and I were already laughing about this when he says "watch your eyes cause the button could pop at any moment." He no sooner finished the sentence when the button came flying across the room. I thought Maddie and Dylan were going to pee their pants they were laughing so hard.

Like I said, you had to be there.

These are the moments

Sometimes my life is funny. Sometimes it's really funny. I have had Maddie-isms. I have even had Dylan-isms (although rare). I have something for everyone today!!! Yes, even me.

First, we'll start with me, cause I'm the best. Plus it's not nearly as funny as the rest. I went running on Friday. No, that's not the funny part. The funny part is that I tripped while running. Seriously. I caught a toe and stumbled. Shockingly, I was able to remain upright - thank GOD. I thought you would just like to picture that in your head for a few seconds so you can laugh with me. Now erase it - thanks.

Next up....Joel. That's right, Joel gets a turn on the laugh track. Maddie and Joel were outside playing some basketball. I just happened to walk past the window and I see Maddie running after the ball in the cul-de-sac. Maddie doesn't really run very fast and our cul-de-sac is at the top of a very steep hill. So, you can see where I am going with this. Maddie gave up on the ball, and I don't blame her. However, someone had to get that ball as it gained momentum down the hill before it caused some damage. Guess who that was?? I was seriously in hysterics watching Joel run full speed down the hill after the ball. I was in the house so they couldn't see or hear me, but Maddie was outside and I could see her doubling over in laughter at this. Funny stuff I tell you.

Next is Dylan. He likes to brag himself up on how tough and cool and strong he is. He thinks he could beat wrestlers. He even said in a full on fight with me or his father - he'd win. Seriously?? Anyway, at Wal Mart today he even went as far as to say he thinks he could beat Chuck Norris. I just shake my head and laugh and say whatever. I bought each of them a juice at the store. We're on our way home and Dylan says "I can't open my juice, the lid is too tight." I almost drove off the road I was laughing so hard. He thinks he can beat Chuck Norris, but he can't open a bottle of juice??? LMAO

Finally, we have Maddie. This actually isn't very funny. I was singing a song yesterday, which annoys my children to death. Maddie says "Mom, seriously if you don't stop I am going to literally kill you." (That is a direct, word-for-word quote, by the way). I knew the whole "kill you" thing was just a figure of speech and she did not really "mean" it, but I thought I'd teach her a lesson about it. So I tell her that if she did kill me she would be very sad about it and that there wouldn't be anyone to cook for her or read her stories or put her hair in braids like she likes. Then I said "and you know that green shirt of mine that you like to sleep with because it smells like me? If I was dead it wouldn't smell like me anymore and never would again." Holy crap she freaked the heck out. She started crying hysterically and could not stop. She was hyperventilating she was crying so hard. I actually felt bad at this point and I had to calm her down and promise her that I wasn't going anywhere. I also had to make her promise not to say that anymore about killing people, because it's not nice. She felt bad about saying it (obviously).

So, the lesson for the day - Juice bottles are tougher than Chuck Norris, and if I ever die - you people better find a way to keep that green shirt smelling like me forever or you will be sorry.

Building a Mystery

Where is the Mystery Machine when you need it? Scooby? Shaggy? I have snacks!

Seriously, it was quite a puzzler, let me tell you.

I walked into my bathroom and there was mascara smeared all over the bathroom counter and someone had taken my eyeliner and scribbled all over various parts of the bathroom. What an oddball thing to do. Being the scatterbrained mother than I am, I tickled my brain trying to remember if I did that. After a few moments of painful recollection, I realized it was of course, not me.

My first suspect was Madelyn. She has in the past gotten into my makeup and made a mess that you would have fainted over. Seriously. I was pretty sure she had learned her lesson on that one, but she was still suspect number one on my list. She's a sneaky one, but she's not a liar. In fact, she's painfully honest most times. So I summoned her to the scene of the crime. I pointed out the mess and she looked rather puzzled at me and said "I didn't do that mom, I swear." I looked into her eyes and I actually believed her. I can tell when Maddie is lying- Exhibit A: The leg shaving incident.

This lead to suspect number 2 - Dylan. Seems rather odd for a 12-year-old to not only get into his mother's makeup but also to make a mess with it. Now, I am not going to call Dylan a liar, but he is much more practiced at it than Maddie and I have a more difficult time telling whether he is telling a stretched truth or not. Since the pre-teen hormones have recently taken over the controls in his brain and I've seen him lately do things that really made me scratch my head in wonder, I figured it was entirely possible that he did it. So, I summoned suspect number 2 to the scene of the crime. Of course, he denied it.

Barring a lie detector test, I had no proof that either of them were actually guilty, but considering that I didn't do it, and it was fairly unlikely that Joel did it, it was clearly one of the two standing in front of me - both of whom were denying it.

So I decided to pull a switch on them. This is where it gets fun. I blamed their father. I figured if either of them had done it, they wouldn't want to see me get angry at their father for something that they did. HAHA, boy did I underestimate them both. They both just kind of shrugged their shoulders and walked away. I guess they figured Dad would be in less trouble than they would.

Just as mysteriously as the mess appeared - it disappeared. The culprit - whomever it was - cleaned up their own mess without so much as a word. So somewhere in my mission, my detective skills failed me, but my mother-guilt-issuing skills prevailed.

Of course, there is still the possibility that there is a ghost in the house that did it and then felt bad for getting the kids in trouble so they cleaned it up.

I wouldn't put money on that one though. My money's on Dylan. Especially since I found the washrag that was used to clean up the mess in his laundry basket this morning. At this point, if it were Maddie I would have to give her mad props for planting evidence in Dylan's room.

Either way, no one is in trouble. The mystery is solved (sort of) and the mess is cleaned up.

Caution - Patience Level is on Low - Proceed at Your Own Risk

I have the absolute utmost respect for parents that homeschool. I don't know how you do it. I can't even fathom it. Yesterday both of my kids had homework and the drama that came from it was insane.

Dylan rarely has any anymore. He finds his lunch hour (or however long it is) to be a big waste of time, so he has an arrangement with one of his teachers that he can eat his lunch in her room and do his homework. Yes, I know this is strange.

Maddie brings home a packet of work on Mondays to be turned in by Thursday. Because of baseball and ballet and other activities, we usually have to cram it all into one night - this night was last night. I posted before about how she was struggling a bit in school. She wants to do her homework herself - which I would be happy to allow, if she actually did it right. Sometimes I let her go at it and make her erase the wrong answers and correct them. Sometimes I just make her do it right the first time. It's probably better for her to do it her way and then show her the right way, but I don't have the patience for that and neither does she. She was sent to her room for a time out twice during the course of a 3-page packet last night - once for eye rolling and once for pencil throwing.

Dylan just can't focus on one thing. He had a spelling list to correct. With no distractions it would take probably 5 minutes TOPS. It took 30. I catch him staring at the wall with the pencil on the desk.

Focus Dylan.

I am.

On the homework, not the wall.

Since I clearly was not in the most patient of moods last night, I probably should not have volunteered to play a board game with them last night. They choose Sorry. Huge mistake.

First off, we don't play board games with the regular rules. That's lame. We make up new rules to suit us. For instance, the game of Sorry takes forever if you only use the 1 and 2 to get out. So we use any card to get out and we use the Sorry card to put anyone back in their home, regardless of whether or not we have a piece in home or not. This is great for my kids unless the "new rules" start benefiting one more than the other. Then, it's called "cheating." *sigh*

Dylan had his first game on Monday, which they won 2-1. Sounds like a dull game right? Yes. Two great pitchers means very little hits for either team. Top that with sitting in the cold rain for two hours. Game over. He has another game on Friday, which I am really excited about. They play Dennis's team, which means Rachel and Marin will be there. Woot!

Eggs and Balls and Buses

Interesting title, right?

We survived Spring Break and Easter weekend without any complications. Not that I was expecting any, but you never really know, now do you?

Friday night we watched the Blind Side. Maddie wasn't interested, which I kind of figured she wouldn't be. She watched Monsters, Inc. in the other room by herself. Saturday we had Easter at Mam's house. She has a ton of pictures. I don't have any of course because my camera bit the dust. Or should I say, bit the floor of the Key Arena.

Sunday morning was an early one - I had been able to split my hours to accommodate Easter this year. I got up at 5:30 thinking that I was going to give the big bunny a hand with the hiding of eggs. Only there were two problems - one was that it was a lot earlier than I expected and the second was that it was a lot darker than I had expected. I started work at 6:00 and then when the sun made it's appearance I snuck outside.

The kids did their egg hunt a little later and were happy with their baskets. I got off at 10:00 and we went to Joel's parents for another egg hunt and lunch. After that we came back home and I worked from 1:00 to 5:00 and then we went to dinner at my Dad's house. They had a present for the kids and my dad gave them a hint the other day. He said "it's huge." Guess what Dylan thought it was??? A BUS!! Are you freaking kidding me???

Anyway, it was a pool. 15 foot round pool that is 3.5 deep. It comes with a solar cover and a ladder and a filter and a net and all sorts of other gadgets. The intention is to set it up in the beginning of summer and leave it up all summer with the hopes that we'll have enough sun to allow them to play in it a lot. Hopefully we have a summer like last year!

Today is the start of baseball season!! Dylan has his first game tonight. He's still has his cold. He went from horrible sore throat to runny nose to a wicked cough. This is honestly the longest I've ever seen him sick. Even when he had the swine flu it seemed like a day or 2 maybe that he was truly sick. Poor guy, I hope he gets better soon, he's got some balls to hit.

It's been one week

I can't believe I haven't posted in a week. Actually, I can. I have been busy. That's not to say I haven't thought about it.

First of all.....we have this

Maddie lost her top front tooth finally. She looks like a totally different kid.

We got to watch New Moon this weekend for our Family Movie Night. Loved it. Of course, I had already seen it twice before, Dylan and Joel had both seen it once, but Maddie had not seen it. She loved it of course. She wants an Edward poster for her room. Me too, girlie. Me too.

Sunday the kids went to spend a couple of days with Mam. Maddie was coming down off of a cold and Dylan was on the cusp of one. Dylan came home Monday. He was partly bored, partly missing mom and partly not feeling good. Mostly missing mom though. Maddie stayed until Tuesday night. Despite spring break Dylan had 3 baseball practices this week. His tonsils were super swollen so I finally took him to the doctor yesterday and they said he just has a viral infection, which I suspected. Considering his first game is coming up Monday I figured I'd better have him checked.

When Maddie came home Tuesday night you could tell she totally missed me. She literally clung to my leg like a barnacle. We played games and had some fun.

This week is the first week of my new schedule. Working 6, 7, or 8 hours a day, depending on the day. I am finding that I don't mind it and it comes at a good time because my raise takes effect today so I should see a much needed increase on the paycheck real soon.

Nothing else special to write about. Hope your week was more eventful than ours :) or not, whichever you prefer.